Shattered Identity: How Toxic Relationships Hijack Your Power, Purpose & Prosperity

What if the deepest damage from toxic relationships isn’t emotional—but energetic?

This episode will shake you. Because when your heart breaks, your identity fractures—and most people never talk about what really happens next.

Dr. Amen Kaur unpacks the truth beyond the surface wounds of toxic love: how these relationships silently hijack your frequency, sever your connection to purpose, and block your ability to receive abundance on a soul-deep level.

You’ll learn how repeated gaslighting rewires your nervous system to embody beliefs like:
 👉 “I must shrink to stay loved.”
 👉 “It’s not safe to be powerful.”
 👉 “I can’t trust my own voice.”

These aren’t just thoughts—they’re energetic imprints trapped in your body.

Backed by the trauma research of Dr. Peter Levine and a stunning metaphor from quantum physics and computer rebooting, Dr. Amen Kaur  reveals how trauma locks your creative power in freeze mode—leaving you stuck in proving, pleasing, and performing cycles instead of leading, creating, and receiving.

The most revolutionary truth?

🧬 Your soul’s mission never dies. It’s waiting patiently beneath the rubble of trauma—for you to reclaim your frequency and rise.

You’ll also discover: ✨ Why trauma blocks prosperity and keeps you in scarcity loops
 ✨ How overgiving becomes your default identity
 ✨ Practical tools to literally shake off trauma and reboot your nervous system
✨ The real reason your purpose feels buried—and how to get it back

This episode isn’t just healing—it’s a reclamation.
Your body holds the key to your rebirth. Your voice. Your leadership. Your legacy.

🎧 Press play if you're ready to reboot your frequency and reclaim what toxic love tried to steal.

📌 Book a 1:1 session and activate your next chapter: https://linktr.ee/dramenkaur
💫 Don’t forget to rate this podcast or leave a review, and to those of you who already have—thank you deeply. Your support means the world.
💖 Share this with someone ready to rise. We heal together.

Sending you so much love till next time 💫✨
 You are not broken—you’re rebooting.

Chapters

• 0:00 Toxic Relationships Impact on Identity
• 2:15 Energetic Disruption and Quantum Physics
• 3:20 Trauma's Effect on Nervous System
• 6:59 Reclaiming Purpose After Toxic Relationships
• 9:44 Unblocking Prosperity and Abundance
• 13:55 Healing Trauma and Rebooting Energy
• 14:45 Breaking Generational Chains and Legacy

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Let's talk about the real impact of toxic relationships that most people don't acknowledge. The one that doesn't just break your heart, is actually fracturing your identity. It's the kind it doesn't just hurt your feelings. It's hijacking your power, disconnecting you from your purpose, the whole point of having meaning for being alive, and it drains your ability to receive prosperity. I'm Dr Amonkour and in today's episode of the toxic relationship detox, we're going to go deeper than just the surface wounds that a lot of people look at, and we're also going to look at the impact on you, because sometimes we focus so much on the narcissist, what they're doing, that we don't have the time and the space to look at what's actually happened to me, because whether toxic relationships are romantic, they're in your family or even internal. Now it's not just emotional pain. It's disrupting who you are in terms of your identity. If we're looking at it from a quantum physics perspective, they disrupt your frequency, your vibration, your frequency, your vibration. They create energetic imprints that tell your body it's not safe to be powerful. There's something wrong with me. I can't trust my own voice. I must shrink to stay loved. I should be small so that I'm safe.

Speaker 1: 1:40

Let's really unravel this and let's reclaim everything that has been tried to take from you. Whether you're in a toxic dynamic right now or you're often gaslit out of your truth. This is really key. You've been gaslighted out of your truth and over time you start to disconnect from your own intuition, your instincts, your inner fire, if you like, that life force, energy, and it's not just psychological. Dr peter levine's work, which he's done many, many years on in terms of trauma therapy, shows us that the nervous system will freeze or fawn or fight or flight or shut down to survive. This frozen energy, if you like, becomes like your new normal and that is the energy that you're carrying around with you all the time. So that stops you from setting boundaries, it stops you from speaking up, it starts you doubting your own worth, your own connection to yourself. From a quantum physics perspective, it's like it's been fragmented, shattered, and that energy is then unavailable because it's stuck, because everything is energy. If we look at it from a quantum physics perspective, everything is energy. Let's take that concept. So if something has happened to you, what happens is that energy of that experience is stuck.

Speaker 1: 3:35

Now, the other way I like to explain it is we've got a computer. We all know what computers are like and sometimes they just shut down, they stop working. There's something stuck, basically, and the best thing, and a lot of people would say, is shut it down and restart. What the shutdown mode is is literally it's gone, you've gone into freeze or the computer's gone into freeze, so there's something stuck, the energy is stuck, it's not flowing through the computer and it's not working properly. Then what happens is you shut it down on purpose. We go into shutdown mode and the purpose of shutdown mode is a positive. It's to help shut down everything so your body or your system can reboot.

Speaker 1: 4:28

So what happens in a toxic relationship or where there's trauma is that you will go into shut down mode and the purpose is so that you can reboot and start working properly again, because there's some kind of trauma, something's happened to block that energy. So your power is in your body. There is an energy source in your body and we know it's safe to be seen logically and it's safe to take up space logically. But there there's another part. There's like a system, your nervous system. It's not thinking, it's not the thinking part of the brain, it's just the mechanics, if you like, of how the energy is flowing for your system. So we need to reboot that as well.

Speaker 1: 5:23

And if you read Dr Levine's book or books, you'll see that actually you need trauma is basically where we're shutting down a certain part of us, maybe in a certain area of our life, so that we can then reboot, basically, and in order to reboot, can then reboot basically, and in order to reboot you need to turn the computer back on and that's like you going on to and there's a surge of energy that goes through and that's like going into fight or flight. Yeah, so if you go into shutdown you're immobilized and that's normal. When, say, if a lion's in jungle, you pretend to be dead, so that you've got a chance of tricking the lion to thinking that you're dead, so that when you know the lion's not looking, you can run for it. Basically, you can reboot and go and run. You've gone into fight or flight so you can run. That's the power surge. You've got that going through your system and then, once you're safe, what the deer or the prey will do is they will shake it off so they release that excess energy so that they can reboot and go into calm, normal running mode of the computer, if you like. That's the normal run. So the next thing we need to do is, if we've lost our purpose, if we've lost our connection to our power source, then that means that we need to be able to reboot.

Speaker 1: 7:01

There's still some trauma in there. Toxic relationships actually do pull you out of alignment that you start to forget why am I here? I feel lost, I don't know what I'm doing, and you can start to live in that survival mode. Instead of actually expressing your talents, who you are, you get caught into proving, pleasing, performing, never creating or leading and fully embodying your purpose. That's because trauma doesn't allow you to actually lead, create, because we're not in that mode of running. Our nervous system isn't in that mode. It's in a different mode, which is I need to survive, I need to prove, I need to please, I need to perform, and so you can't actually embody your purpose, you can't fulfill your meaning. So if your nervous system is stuck in fawn or freeze or shutdown, your gifts are basically locked inside until you can reboot. And that's the thing here I just want to really make it clear.

Speaker 1: 8:09

Some people think that when you're in these kind of modes that this is it, this is how life is going to be and there's nothing I can do. No, the truth is, your soul's mission never dies. It's patiently waiting beneath the rubble, if you like, of trauma and it's waiting for you to reclaim that frequency, that energy of getting into safety mode so that you can get into that creative leading, embodying your purpose and doing what you're meant to do. Your purpose only activates in environments of safety and you want to get into that space because you're here to actually leave something the world a better place. You've got a legacy, you've got a reason to be here and you're meant to actually go through this experience and then learn from it so that you can get into a safe zone, so that you can create from this learning, from embodying this whole experience. And it could be that you're meant to step into your purpose and your purpose feels like you can breathe again, you can express yourself again, it's good to be you again. You feel like, ah, it feels good to be alive and experience life again and remember who am I and what was my divine mission and what is it that you're born to be here.

Speaker 1: 9:38

The other thing that you can tell if you've still got trauma is that you'll have some blocks to your prosperity. Let's be real here. If you've been in toxic dynamics, especially where you've been taught you have to overgive and under receive, you have been devalued over and over and over again and this actually impacts every area of your life. You'll literally devalue yourself in every area. You might devalue your potential and you'll have, maybe relationship patterns with money where you might overcharge, undergive. You might have guilt around abundance or sabotage the moment things start coming into your life. You might self-sabotage your career, you might punish yourself or you give or keep getting into difficult relationships because you're punishing yourself for having wealth, for having prosperity. Toxic love teaches you if I receive too much, there's going to be consequences, so you end up staying.

Speaker 1: 10:46

Small scarcity becomes familiar because there is a programming around devaluation, not feeling valuable enough. So you have to learn to understand your worth again and to be able to receive your worth in loads of different ways Money, success, relationships, that it all links up together and saying small scarcity becomes familiar like, oh, I've got enough, but you should be living in a way where you feel free to be yourself. You should be living in a way where you feel free to be yourself. It's not about allowing your life to be scarce in any way, you should be full of love, full of prosperity, full of abundance, full of joy, full of all the things that you want, and allowing that to be your life rather than it being scarcity. That's not your destiny to be scarce. As you heal, you will start to recalibrate your frequency, that energy, to allow your whole body to reboot, basically to get to that space of trust, worthiness, expansion, because true prosperity can only land in the body when it feels safe to hold it. And if you do, affirmations like I feel safe to receive my energy is a match for overflow.

Speaker 1: 12:14

Whatever it is that you want to believe in, you will find that you might have sensations in your body where you've got some blocks of energy. Allow yourself to acknowledge that difference in energy. You might feel like you've got a heavy heart, or you might feel some anxiety. That is a sensation. You feel your heart beating, you feel your without breath, you might feel a panic attack. These are all sensations of trauma response that's just going through your nervous system and what we want to do is release the fear of the sensations, because why trauma gets locked is there's fear of feeling the sensations, the trauma sensations. They feel too overwhelming and what you want to do is actually release the thinking patterns around it, process the emotions, but also reboot your nervous system so that it feels like it's resetting again. So it might be that you want to shake like the deer who's just been around a tiger. It might be that you want to dance. It might be that you want to do boxing lessons. Whatever it might be, you need to get rid of that energy so that you want to dance. It might be that you want to do boxing lessons. Whatever it might be, you need to get rid of that energy so that you can reboot. So it's that turning the computer back on phase where you need to allow that body, or your body, to allow all that energy to run through you so that you can get to that equilibrium state again.

Speaker 1: 13:55

Toxic relationships were never about the other person. They are mirroring that. You may have forgotten your worth, but now you can remember, you can allow your body to remember that, oh, I've got this huge amount of power within me to do something with my life, which is your purpose, and so that I can receive and experience prosperity. You're here to lead, you're here to create, you're here to break every chain that your ancestors or the generations above couldn't do. But you're here and you're listening to this. You're healing for you. You're going to heal for generations ahead. It's your legacy to actually heal this.

Speaker 1: 14:45

If this episode has cracked open something for you and you want to reboot, please do apply to do a one-to-one session with me. We can look at what is it that you actually need. It could be that you want to start activating your own prosperity. It could be that you want to heal and thrive. It could be that you need to reboot your nervous system. It could be that you want to release your trauma bond. There's so many different things that you might need Book in a one-to-one and we can look at what is it that you need and if it is that someone that could benefit from this, share it. Let's break these cycles for other people too. Sending you so much love Till next time. No-transcript.